The song is about being left out of things. Physically and also being shut out mentally.
I would like some general feedback on this really. I've added it as country which it It kind of is, but it's also adult contemporary I guess. My vocal ability is pretty much 0. Don't like my vocal but just trying to get the idea across. Anyway all observations and thoughts are greatly appreciated. Cheers. Les.
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Hi Les, nice melody and I really can imagine how the chorus will sound with a great singer. I have the same problem; I’m not a big singer too.
I would recommend to shorten the song a bit, maybe you don’t need a third verse. The lyric could use some tweaks. Some rhymes feel forced or are a bit boring. Think about using near rhymes, especially the chorus lyric sounds a bit stale. I think the song fits in more in the adult contemporary genre than Country. Keep on working on it!
June 12, 2019
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Hi Frank. Thanks for taking the time to listen. I think you’re right about the lyrics. I find it hard to write lyrics and tend to right them very quickly to get the idea on paper. I probably need to think about them a bit more. And yes, it could have done without the third verse.
Cheers
Les
June 12, 2019
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There was a time when we thought that we'd made it
There was a time when we thought that we had
Something there so strong
Nothing could go wrong
Now i'm afraid of what i have been hearing
I don't know what to or not believe
There's so many ways
I'm counting the next days
Don't leave me cold
Don't leave me lost and lonely
Standing in the road
Now i'm all alone
Trying to get home
Don't leave me cold
There were rumours words and accusations
There were silent spaces in between
we couldn't get along
But who was right or wrong
Don't leave me cold
Don't leave me lost and lonely
Standing in the road
Now your're alone
Sitting there at home
Don't leave me cold
0
Would suggest posting the lyrics, as this allows the listener to feel more connected to your song (also makes it easier for others to give feedback in regards to your lyrics).
Best wishes in all your musical endeavors.
June 12, 2019
0
Hi Les, nice melody and I really can imagine how the chorus will sound with a great singer. I have the same problem; I’m not a big singer too.
I would recommend to shorten the song a bit, maybe you don’t need a third verse. The lyric could use some tweaks. Some rhymes feel forced or are a bit boring. Think about using near rhymes, especially the chorus lyric sounds a bit stale. I think the song fits in more in the adult contemporary genre than Country. Keep on working on it!
June 12, 2019
0
Hi Frank. Thanks for taking the time to listen. I think you’re right about the lyrics. I find it hard to write lyrics and tend to right them very quickly to get the idea on paper. I probably need to think about them a bit more. And yes, it could have done without the third verse.
Cheers
Les
June 12, 2019
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Bob Abner
Would suggest posting the lyrics, as this allows the listener to feel more connected to your song (also makes it easier for others to give feedback in regards to your lyrics).
Best wishes in all your musical endeavors.
June 12, 2019
No members have liked this comment.