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A bit about high EQ and its negative effects - becoming trapped in their place, and feeling like you always have to be different people.
I'm not much of a singer or performer at all to be honest - but I've put this together on Abelton to get some feedback on the song writing...… Happy for feedback on the mix but I'm most interested in writing lyrics and general melody. I also have no idea what genre I fit
Hey Bob - Appreciate the feedback - seems hard to get much! As I said, I’m not much of a singer, but hard to put anything lyrical out without some sort of performance
If you could give me a bit more information - imho? Meander - as in too simple, or not enough variation into the chorus?
Interesting that you interpreted as angst of youth - Im not sure I can remember that far back lol - but Thanks again for your time it means alot ![]()
May 31, 2019
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It cannot be
Can’t you see?
I walk through life in other people’s shoes.
No matter what you do
There’s no breaking through
I’ll be someone else again.
I try so hard
To stay away from the darkBut it isn't easy
I want to hide away but
Please make me stay
Chorus
To know who I am would be a start
Brain to skin eyes to heart
And rule my world again
And if I hadn’t felt the world
A leaf never uncurled
Who knows
Verse 2
What you think you see
It cannot be
I’m walking life in other people’s shoes
I’ve built barricades
Playing charades
The games are just what we do
.
I’ve tried so hard
To surrender the guard
And just be myself again.
I want to hide away but
Please make me stay
Chorus
To know who I am would be a start
Brain to skin eyes to heart
And rule my world again
And if I hadn’t felt the world
An oyster never pearled
Who knows
You and me
It Cannot be
I walk through life in other peoples shoes.
No matter where I go
Past highs and the low
I cant let it weigh you down.
I’ve tried so hard
To remember the start
And change the ending but
I can’t hide away
I need to find a way
Chorus
To know who I am would be a start
Brain to skin eyes to heart
To rule my world again
And if I hadn’t felt the world
A leaf never uncurled
Who knows
And if I hadn’t felt the world
A fire left to burn
Who knows
For now I’ll settle for a home
Where my feet can feel some quiet.
And Who knows
0
Genre: I’d go with simply “singer/songwriter”
Melodically and harmonically: imho, you have a tendency to “meander”
Lyrics: a little generalized—“the angst of youth” (how do I fit in, why doesn’t the world make more sense to me, etc.). I might suggest focusing more on SPECIFIC situations and feelings, and Brent Baxter often mentions “imagery” (to help bring a song to life).
Your voice seems pleasing and easy to listen to (though occasional issues with intonation). Good luck with your songwriting!!!
May 30, 2019
0
Hey Bob - Appreciate the feedback - seems hard to get much! As I said, I’m not much of a singer, but hard to put anything lyrical out without some sort of performance
If you could give me a bit more information - imho? Meander - as in too simple, or not enough variation into the chorus?
Interesting that you interpreted as angst of youth - Im not sure I can remember that far back lol - but Thanks again for your time it means alot ![]()
May 31, 2019
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Bob Abner
Genre: I’d go with simply “singer/songwriter”
Melodically and harmonically: imho, you have a tendency to “meander”
Lyrics: a little generalized—“the angst of youth” (how do I fit in, why doesn’t the world make more sense to me, etc.). I might suggest focusing more on SPECIFIC situations and feelings, and Brent Baxter often mentions “imagery” (to help bring a song to life).
Your voice seems pleasing and easy to listen to (though occasional issues with intonation). Good luck with your songwriting!!!
May 30, 2019
No members have liked this comment.