I have read and heard many accounts of a strong attachment between a dog and a veteran or a person serving on active military duty. I have developed that attachment with my son's dog, Aspen.
I would appreciate specific, helpful suggestions or comments on the lyrics or music.
Brent, thank you for your helpful suggestions. I did think the song was somewhat long as was the bridge. I definitely like the idea of making the chorus Verse 1 and the ideas in the bridge Verse 2. I will have to give some thought as to how to come up with the wording for a new chorus.
I will provide some feedback to another songwriter.
January 04, 2019
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I decided to revise the song because 1. it needed a chorus that expressed a main idea, 2. the song was too long, and 3.some details needed to be deleted (I might use those details in a second song about Aspen and her best friend - a cat).
https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/aspen-shes-my-soulmate-181230
Aspen (She’s My Soulmate)
© Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg
Verse 1
She’s a small-sized husky, from Colorado.
She plays, sleeps, eats, has to be let out to go.
Look into her eyes, see the wolf she came from.
But she’s much more than that: smart, caring, and fun.
Look at her mouth. It shows a smile. This dog smiles.
She has a personality that’s a wonder.
Better than lots of folks I’ve known.
Chorus
Had an uncle served in World War Two,
Came home, didn’t get around much anymore.
Spent most of his time with his little dog.
I didn’t understand what for.
Then I served in a war.
Now I spend my time with Aspen.
Now I know, I understand what for.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate.
Verse 2
Aspen wags her tail, watches out the window.
She seems to know the time, I wave hello.
She greets me as I walk through the door.
She has a toy in her mouth. Who’s that for?
We sit on the couch, it’s been a long day.
I pet her as she leans against me.
All my cares, worries, bad memories disappear.
Chorus Repeat
Bridge
Evening, what to do? Aspen and I go out to the backyard.
I have a drink, watch the sunset; she roams her playground.
I look at her; she looks at me. We agree it’s getting late.
Chorus 2
Now I know, I understand what for.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate.
Tag: Yeah Aspen, she’s my soulmate.
January 16, 2019
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Aspen (She's My Soulmate. She's a Winner)
©2018 Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg
Verse 1
She’s a small-sized husky, from Colorado.
She plays, sleeps, eats, needs to be let out to go.
Look into her eyes, see the wolf that she came from.
But she’s much more than that: kind, caring, and fun.
Look at her mouth. It shows a smile. This dog smiles.
Intelligent? She’s smarter than lots of folks I know.
She has a personality that’s a wonder.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.
Chorus
Aspen wags her tail real fast, excited,
Runs up to greet me as I walk through the door.
She has a toy in her mouth. Who’s that for?
Just sitting on the couch with her here,
All my cares, worries, bad memories disappear.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.
Verse 2
Aspen roams the backyard; that’s her territory.
But all God’s creatures are welcome there.
Little kids can pet her, old folks can hug her.
She plays with bigger dogs, chases squirrels for fun.
Aspen’s very best friend is a little white cat.
They cuddle together when they take a nap.
Dogs, squirrels, cats, people, she’s their sister.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.
Chorus Repeat
Bridge
Had an uncle served in World War Two, came home, didn’t get around much anymore.
Spent most of his time with his little dog. I didn’t understand what for.
Then I served in a war, came home, don’t get around much anymore.
Spend my time with Aspen, now I know, I understand what for.
When my uncle died, they gave his wife the flag. His little dog didn’t want to leave his grave.
I understood what for.
Chorus Repeat
Tag: Yeah Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.
0
Hi, Walter. Thanks for sharing your song with us. First off, I like the title. It doesn’t give anything away, which I like.
I think you could edit down the verses quite a bit. I actually think that chorus might be a good 1st verse, then the chorus could be more big picture about how you’re closer to that dog than you are to most people. Then verse 2 could get to the uncle and war stuff, then back to the chorus.
Just a thought. Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 04, 2019
0
Brent, thank you for your helpful suggestions. I did think the song was somewhat long as was the bridge. I definitely like the idea of making the chorus Verse 1 and the ideas in the bridge Verse 2. I will have to give some thought as to how to come up with the wording for a new chorus.
I will provide some feedback to another songwriter.
January 04, 2019
0
I decided to revise the song because 1. it needed a chorus that expressed a main idea, 2. the song was too long, and 3.some details needed to be deleted (I might use those details in a second song about Aspen and her best friend - a cat).
https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/aspen-shes-my-soulmate-181230
Aspen (She’s My Soulmate)
© Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg
Verse 1
She’s a small-sized husky, from Colorado.
She plays, sleeps, eats, has to be let out to go.
Look into her eyes, see the wolf she came from.
But she’s much more than that: smart, caring, and fun.
Look at her mouth. It shows a smile. This dog smiles.
She has a personality that’s a wonder.
Better than lots of folks I’ve known.
Chorus
Had an uncle served in World War Two,
Came home, didn’t get around much anymore.
Spent most of his time with his little dog.
I didn’t understand what for.
Then I served in a war.
Now I spend my time with Aspen.
Now I know, I understand what for.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate.
Verse 2
Aspen wags her tail, watches out the window.
She seems to know the time, I wave hello.
She greets me as I walk through the door.
She has a toy in her mouth. Who’s that for?
We sit on the couch, it’s been a long day.
I pet her as she leans against me.
All my cares, worries, bad memories disappear.
Chorus Repeat
Bridge
Evening, what to do? Aspen and I go out to the backyard.
I have a drink, watch the sunset; she roams her playground.
I look at her; she looks at me. We agree it’s getting late.
Chorus 2
Now I know, I understand what for.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate.
Tag: Yeah Aspen, she’s my soulmate.
January 16, 2019
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Brent Baxter
Hi, Walter. Thanks for sharing your song with us. First off, I like the title. It doesn’t give anything away, which I like.
I think you could edit down the verses quite a bit. I actually think that chorus might be a good 1st verse, then the chorus could be more big picture about how you’re closer to that dog than you are to most people. Then verse 2 could get to the uncle and war stuff, then back to the chorus.
Just a thought. Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 04, 2019
No members have liked this comment.