This a song about being a new parent; its joys and responsibilities.
Would love feedback on song structure as well as the mix. Any feedback is welcome.
Thanks for the feedback Bob, I will take this into consideration on future songs. This song has already been released on an LP but I may revisit it for a future re-recording. Thanks.
August 02, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Hi Allen,
This reminds me of 80’s UK music - no bad thing imho.
I could imagine Kirsty McColl singing this. If you decide to re-record it you could reference Steve Lillywhite production of her or some of the Stiff records artists like Any Trouble for ideas.
I like it.
S
August 02, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Hi Allen,
nice song! I agree with Sam - with Freddie Mercury on vocals it would sound like QUEEN.
August 14, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
My life began when I first looked in your eyes,
Time stood still in this solemn paradise,
A tear ran down upon my face and I could not deny,
Everything up to this day was a blessing in disguise
Pre-Chorus
And I now see all life’s journey, has led me to this time,
An angel placed into this world and I’m your guiding light
Chorus
You’re my Angel, My tiny Angel
There's not a care in the world to me,
When you're wrapped inside my arms
All fear just melts away
And we are safe from all life's harms
But still I know as we both grow,
At times we’ll be apart
Nothing could replace that love,
Centered in my heart
Pre-Chorus
‘Cause I now see all life’s journey, has led me to this time,
You’re an angel placed into this world and I’m to be your guiding light
Chorus
You’re my Angel, My tiny Angel
Bridge
Created through love,
Treasure these moments one by one,
My heart will forever be surprised,
It’s a gift of the heart,
This beauty and innocence,
My heart is so full it’s leaking from my eyes.
Pre-Chorus
And I now see all life’s journey, has led me to this time,
An angel placed into this world and I’m your guiding light
‘Cause I now see all life’s journey, has led me to this time,
You’re an angel placed into this world and I’m to be your guiding light
Chorus
You’re my Angel, My tiny Angel
You’re my Angel, My tiny Angel
0
1) Repetitious Chord pattern (and variations):
E / C-sharp minor / F-sharp minor / B
[ 1 / 6- / 2- / 5 ]
2) Rhyme Scheme:
“Time” and “Light” (in pre-chorus, for instance)—
a rhyme scheme that happens as often as this one happens in your song—imho, would suggest not settling for this same “imperfect” rhyme scheme as often as this one rolls around in your song [Sidenote: as an example of what I’m referring to, Jimmy Webb said that it has always bothered him that he settled for the following imperfect rhyme scheme (in “The Wichita Lineman”):
“And I need you more than want you,
And I want you for all TIME,
And the Wichita Lineman,
Is still on the LINE”
<a>
3) I think you have a nice voice—you ENUNCIATE (many singers DO NOT enunciate) and your INTONATION (singing on pitch) is solid (many singers DO NOT sing on pitch
Best of luck with all your musical endeavors!!!)
August 01, 2018
0
Thanks for the feedback Bob, I will take this into consideration on future songs. This song has already been released on an LP but I may revisit it for a future re-recording. Thanks.
August 02, 2018
0
Hi Allen,
This reminds me of 80’s UK music - no bad thing imho.
I could imagine Kirsty McColl singing this. If you decide to re-record it you could reference Steve Lillywhite production of her or some of the Stiff records artists like Any Trouble for ideas.
I like it.
S
August 02, 2018
0
Hi Allen,
nice song! I agree with Sam - with Freddie Mercury on vocals it would sound like QUEEN.
August 14, 2018
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Bob Abner
1) Repetitious Chord pattern (and variations):
E / C-sharp minor / F-sharp minor / B
[ 1 / 6- / 2- / 5 ]
2) Rhyme Scheme:
“Time” and “Light” (in pre-chorus, for instance)—
a rhyme scheme that happens as often as this one happens in your song—imho, would suggest not settling for this same “imperfect” rhyme scheme as often as this one rolls around in your song [Sidenote: as an example of what I’m referring to, Jimmy Webb said that it has always bothered him that he settled for the following imperfect rhyme scheme (in “The Wichita Lineman”):
“And I need you more than want you,
And I want you for all TIME,
And the Wichita Lineman,
Is still on the LINE”
<a>
3) I think you have a nice voice—you ENUNCIATE (many singers DO NOT enunciate) and your INTONATION (singing on pitch) is solid (many singers DO NOT sing on pitch
Best of luck with all your musical endeavors!!!)
August 01, 2018
No members have liked this comment.