you're already left me darling, you just haven't said goodbye.
what works? what doesn't?
Thanks Frank!
It’s always hard to judge our own stuff objectively.
I had a few things in mind in those lines. The first was a little play on words
It DAWNED on me this MORNING.
Then i wanted to give a visual from my own experience that was hurtful but i knew what it meant when i saw it. That was The stare out into space.
Turning away of the face is a Biblical image
That shows up a lot in the Psalms. The psalm writer begs God not to turn away His face, a plea not to be abandoned.
And finally,the line about confessing, that is paralled in the second verse about asking forgiveness and having regret.
So that is pastoral imagery from my ministry..
All that being said, im sure i will revisit that verse and see if i can make it better. Thanks again for your input!
April 29, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Man what a great song, produced and sung at a high level. I love the sneaky preaching, slipping all those biblical occurrences in, weaving the bible into a song that could be played on regular radio. Great work
July 21, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
It dawned on me this morning
You stared out into space
I asked what you were thinking
You turned away your face
You’ll hurt me with your leaving
But I won’t love you less
I know you’ve made your mind up
Why don’t you just confess
‘cause
I can hear it in the silence
Every time that you don’t call
And like a prophet’s vision
I can see the writing on the wall
I won’t try to make you stay
And I won’t let you see me cry
You’ve already left me darlin’
You just haven’t said goodbye
The words that went unspoken
The lies I told myself
The gift I tried to give you
Unopened on the shelf
but you won’t ask forgiveness
for things you don’t regret
The truth is that you’re leaving
you just haven’t told me yet
‘cause I can hear it in the silence
Every time that you don’t call
And like a prophet’s vision
I can see the writing on the wall
I won’t try to make you stay
And I won’t let you see me cry
You’ve already left me darlin’
You just haven’t said goodbye
‘cause I can hear it in the silence
Every time that you don’t call
And like a prophet’s vision
I can see the writing on the wall
I won’t try to make you stay
And I won’t let you see me cry
You’ve already left me darlin’
You just haven’t said goodbye
You’ve already left me darlin’
You just haven’t said goodbye
© Matthew Keller
Matthew Keller
415 E. Green Ave
Gallup, NM 87301
505 722 6644
revmatthewakeller@gmail.com
1
Hi Matthew, that’s a nice tune with a good flow and a professional production. I like the song, especially the chorus and I can relate to the song, cause I’ve been through something like this. The only thing I’d like to mention is the opening verse; it is not that bad, but for my opinion it’s the weakest part of the song, using some original imagery would make it stronger.
Keep on - and good luck! Frank
April 29, 2018
0
Thanks Frank!
It’s always hard to judge our own stuff objectively.
I had a few things in mind in those lines. The first was a little play on words
It DAWNED on me this MORNING.
Then i wanted to give a visual from my own experience that was hurtful but i knew what it meant when i saw it. That was The stare out into space.
Turning away of the face is a Biblical image
That shows up a lot in the Psalms. The psalm writer begs God not to turn away His face, a plea not to be abandoned.
And finally,the line about confessing, that is paralled in the second verse about asking forgiveness and having regret.
So that is pastoral imagery from my ministry..
All that being said, im sure i will revisit that verse and see if i can make it better. Thanks again for your input!
April 29, 2018
0
Man what a great song, produced and sung at a high level. I love the sneaky preaching, slipping all those biblical occurrences in, weaving the bible into a song that could be played on regular radio. Great work
July 21, 2018
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Frank Renfordt
Hi Matthew, that’s a nice tune with a good flow and a professional production. I like the song, especially the chorus and I can relate to the song, cause I’ve been through something like this. The only thing I’d like to mention is the opening verse; it is not that bad, but for my opinion it’s the weakest part of the song, using some original imagery would make it stronger.
Keep on - and good luck! Frank
April 29, 2018