I wrote this song with Jason Wilkes.
Nice job on this one Brent. Got a great chorus going on. It makes u want to move to it. I let my wife check it out she digs it . Keep writing ...life’s a Song enjoy it
January 24, 2018
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I would repeat know it and rollin’ and an background repeat under tone voice of “spinnin’ round.” because it’s spinning, something that makes it sound spinning a little in the background would sound cool. fading away in the background as your singing “so find me on your phone.”
The opening line could possibly be stronger. Saying, hits you “sometimes”. Emphasis being on sometimes. For me says, it’s not that big of a deal and you kind of don’t understand how it feels when it hits me. For example. They us it in this famous song “Sometimes in our lives we all have pain” but the statement does end with pain. So in context you could argue with me saying. They said sometimes and that’s a hit song. But they do say, we have sorrow and pain. And pain is a really strong word.
Like a statement that makes me feel as though, your crushed and the world is coming to an end. Or this happens to you and I’m aware that it happens frequently and it’s awful. That kind of feeling. You are consoling this person.
Saying, I know this happens to you sometimes. It’s hard to explain the feeling here in words. But if I was giving advice to a friend. I probably wouldn’t say, I know this happens to you sometimes, as if I was expecting it again. That’s probably the best explanation after all this typing. It goes into the victim role. There is a whole psychological thing behind that. Being a victim, making other people a victim with you and becoming the victim with the other person.
Another argument and I’m trying to be expressive here as if I was talking to you.
Dramatic scene plays out after saying sometimes.
“Hits me sometimes, hits me sometimes. Do you even know how I feel.” do you, do you. I don’t think you do. aw. I’m out of here.
That kind of response that a person might give. To saying something like sometimes.
It doesn’t hit me sometimes - it hits me every time and it hits me hard. When it hits me it hurts. It’s stubborn and it’s heart ache. It’s as if you are saying a stab to the artery will sometimes bleed. Just a thought.
That line hung me up the most initially. But I like the song overall.
The repetition I suggested, because there was nothing here that had me humming the toon, or remembering any melodic phrases.
January 24, 2018
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Great tune and production. Thanks for sharing it. Not sure what level of feedback you are looking for but here are some thoughts…
First thought was that this feels like a song that should be pitched to a female vocalist because it is about helping a friend get over a heartache and the phrasing sounds like things a woman would say.
I feel like the opening line is a bit week as it ends on “sometimes”. Feels like there is a better way to state that.
Something like
“I know that heartache throws a mean right”
It feels like some of the lyrics aren’t serving the title as well as they could.
Lines about what they try to use to make heartache leave (good wine, new shoes, night out) are phrases that elicit a happy emotional feeling but it feels like you want to communicate the angst of empty “bandaids” and create a little tension so that you can resolve it in the chorus.
I want to hear about all of the things that are listed in the verse within the context of something that is failing, as All Else Fails.
You know heartache throws a mean right
You can’t heal the break in just one night
We know it don’t work because we’ve both tried
There’s too many pieces
Too many reasons
Like broken promises…fractured, shattered, etc.
I feel the upbeat nature of the song but I am not getting the tension out of the verse that makes me really feel the resolution of the chorus.
I think you could keep it from getting too heavy by focusing on the things that failed, not lies or infidelity, but the things that maybe failed just because they grew apart. Less negatively emotional that way and keeps the groove upbeat.
Would be great to do some object writing on things that fail and see what phrases come of it.
I think maybe the last half of the first line in the chorus (I won’t be too far) is some real estate you could develop a little because the second line kind of says the same thing. Can’t get there in a flash if I’m too far away.
When all else fails I’ll be in my car
And I’ll get there…
2nd verse feels like it needs a change in focus to help it move the narrative of the story along too, while sticking to referring to what is or has been failing.
Just some thoughts. I had a few others but I’m ready to fall off of my chair
Time for bed.
February 03, 2018
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For me it’s not really clear what kind of character he is. Is he a friend? Is he in love with her? Is he an ex? Or Jesus? The melody in the chorus feels a bit stale for me, could be more cheerful. I like the first verse, however I would prefer ‘when’ instead of ‘I know’
February 09, 2018
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Great song. It’s a message we all need to hear from time to time. It will resound with a lot of people.
May 11, 2018
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(Brent Baxter, Jason Wilkes)
I know stubborn heartache hits you sometimes
It won’t wash away after just one night
Hangs on like a haze after the sunrise
You can’t make it leave
Though you try everything
Like good wine new shoes, a night out
Or a good cry TV on and all the lights down low
It won’t go away
But don’t you know by now
CHORUS
When all else fails, I won’t be too far
I’ll get there before you know it
When all else fails, I won’t quit your heart
I’ll get, get you up and rollin’
‘Cuz I won’t, I won’t, I won’t let you down
And I won’t, I won’t leave you spinning ‘round
So find me on your phone
When all else fails
I won’t ask why you took the long way
I know life’s a journey with some wrong ways ‘round
Finding out we missed
What we’ve always had
CHORUS
When all else fails I won't
Be too far I'll get there
Before you can say "I need you"
CHORUS
0
I think it is great. I don’t know what you mean by leaving you spinning round. And at the end, I don’t know if saying I won’t is necessary. By the way, thank you for your feedback earlier.
January 23, 2018
0
Nice job on this one Brent. Got a great chorus going on. It makes u want to move to it. I let my wife check it out she digs it . Keep writing ...life’s a Song enjoy it
January 24, 2018
0
I would repeat know it and rollin’ and an background repeat under tone voice of “spinnin’ round.” because it’s spinning, something that makes it sound spinning a little in the background would sound cool. fading away in the background as your singing “so find me on your phone.”
The opening line could possibly be stronger. Saying, hits you “sometimes”. Emphasis being on sometimes. For me says, it’s not that big of a deal and you kind of don’t understand how it feels when it hits me. For example. They us it in this famous song “Sometimes in our lives we all have pain” but the statement does end with pain. So in context you could argue with me saying. They said sometimes and that’s a hit song. But they do say, we have sorrow and pain. And pain is a really strong word.
Like a statement that makes me feel as though, your crushed and the world is coming to an end. Or this happens to you and I’m aware that it happens frequently and it’s awful. That kind of feeling. You are consoling this person.
Saying, I know this happens to you sometimes. It’s hard to explain the feeling here in words. But if I was giving advice to a friend. I probably wouldn’t say, I know this happens to you sometimes, as if I was expecting it again. That’s probably the best explanation after all this typing. It goes into the victim role. There is a whole psychological thing behind that. Being a victim, making other people a victim with you and becoming the victim with the other person.
Another argument and I’m trying to be expressive here as if I was talking to you.
Dramatic scene plays out after saying sometimes.
“Hits me sometimes, hits me sometimes. Do you even know how I feel.” do you, do you. I don’t think you do. aw. I’m out of here.
That kind of response that a person might give. To saying something like sometimes.
It doesn’t hit me sometimes - it hits me every time and it hits me hard. When it hits me it hurts. It’s stubborn and it’s heart ache. It’s as if you are saying a stab to the artery will sometimes bleed. Just a thought.
That line hung me up the most initially. But I like the song overall.
The repetition I suggested, because there was nothing here that had me humming the toon, or remembering any melodic phrases.
January 24, 2018
0
Great tune and production. Thanks for sharing it. Not sure what level of feedback you are looking for but here are some thoughts…
First thought was that this feels like a song that should be pitched to a female vocalist because it is about helping a friend get over a heartache and the phrasing sounds like things a woman would say.
I feel like the opening line is a bit week as it ends on “sometimes”. Feels like there is a better way to state that.
Something like
“I know that heartache throws a mean right”
It feels like some of the lyrics aren’t serving the title as well as they could.
Lines about what they try to use to make heartache leave (good wine, new shoes, night out) are phrases that elicit a happy emotional feeling but it feels like you want to communicate the angst of empty “bandaids” and create a little tension so that you can resolve it in the chorus.
I want to hear about all of the things that are listed in the verse within the context of something that is failing, as All Else Fails.
You know heartache throws a mean right
You can’t heal the break in just one night
We know it don’t work because we’ve both tried
There’s too many pieces
Too many reasons
Like broken promises…fractured, shattered, etc.
I feel the upbeat nature of the song but I am not getting the tension out of the verse that makes me really feel the resolution of the chorus.
I think you could keep it from getting too heavy by focusing on the things that failed, not lies or infidelity, but the things that maybe failed just because they grew apart. Less negatively emotional that way and keeps the groove upbeat.
Would be great to do some object writing on things that fail and see what phrases come of it.
I think maybe the last half of the first line in the chorus (I won’t be too far) is some real estate you could develop a little because the second line kind of says the same thing. Can’t get there in a flash if I’m too far away.
When all else fails I’ll be in my car
And I’ll get there…
2nd verse feels like it needs a change in focus to help it move the narrative of the story along too, while sticking to referring to what is or has been failing.
Just some thoughts. I had a few others but I’m ready to fall off of my chair
Time for bed.
February 03, 2018
0
For me it’s not really clear what kind of character he is. Is he a friend? Is he in love with her? Is he an ex? Or Jesus? The melody in the chorus feels a bit stale for me, could be more cheerful. I like the first verse, however I would prefer ‘when’ instead of ‘I know’
February 09, 2018
0
Great song. It’s a message we all need to hear from time to time. It will resound with a lot of people.
May 11, 2018
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Andrea Bergman
I think it is great. I don’t know what you mean by leaving you spinning round. And at the end, I don’t know if saying I won’t is necessary. By the way, thank you for your feedback earlier.
January 23, 2018
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