It is about wanting more or nothing at all with some people
Is it too short? Does it keep your attention?
I could change the verse 1 to “Would you be yourself, not being like someone else.” Cause I refuse to be another somebody. Not just someone you see, another somebody.” ???
January 23, 2018
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verse 1
If I met you, would I even want to.
Would we be ourselves, not being like someone else
chorus
Because I refuse to be another somebody
verse 2
Would reality free our souls
Would love play it's part, to be a better person, or happy about who we are
chorus
Cause I refuse to be another somebody
bridge
I want something good, to be understood
Hear me, or leave me be
I don't want to fight or live in a lie
I want beauty
Cause I refuse to be another somebody
0
Hi, Andrea! Thanks for sharing your song with us! Here are just a few thoughts…
I think I like the idea, though it’s a little foggy for me. Sounds like you want to be your true self with your future lover. But there’s some contradiction in the fact that you’re questioning if you’ll really be yourself (in verse one), then you turn right around and say you refuse to be another somebody. So in two lines you have both a question and a definite statement about the same thing. Just a little confusing.
Also, I like the line, “I refuse to be another somebody.” But I don’t feel like that line aims at where the rest of your song points. Yes, I get that you want to be yourself and not somebody else, but “I refuse to be another somebody” is a left-footed way of saying that. It makes me want to hear you really use that title and that unusual wording for more effect. For example…
I refuse to be another somebody
Somebody who’s scared to be herself
Somebody who leaves her fragile heart up on a shelf
Somebody in a mask you never really see
That’s not gonna be me
I refuse to be another somebody
That’s not great, but hopefully you get the idea.
I like that you’re basically saying in the 2nd verse that “love me or leave me, I’m gonna be me.” That’s empowering. I think just be more definite in the 1st verse, too, and it’ll help you out.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 22, 2018
0
I could change the verse 1 to “Would you be yourself, not being like someone else.” Cause I refuse to be another somebody. Not just someone you see, another somebody.” ???
January 23, 2018
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Hi, Andrea! Thanks for sharing your song with us! Here are just a few thoughts…
I think I like the idea, though it’s a little foggy for me. Sounds like you want to be your true self with your future lover. But there’s some contradiction in the fact that you’re questioning if you’ll really be yourself (in verse one), then you turn right around and say you refuse to be another somebody. So in two lines you have both a question and a definite statement about the same thing. Just a little confusing.
Also, I like the line, “I refuse to be another somebody.” But I don’t feel like that line aims at where the rest of your song points. Yes, I get that you want to be yourself and not somebody else, but “I refuse to be another somebody” is a left-footed way of saying that. It makes me want to hear you really use that title and that unusual wording for more effect. For example…
I refuse to be another somebody
Somebody who’s scared to be herself
Somebody who leaves her fragile heart up on a shelf
Somebody in a mask you never really see
That’s not gonna be me
I refuse to be another somebody
That’s not great, but hopefully you get the idea.
I like that you’re basically saying in the 2nd verse that “love me or leave me, I’m gonna be me.” That’s empowering. I think just be more definite in the 1st verse, too, and it’ll help you out.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 22, 2018
No members have liked this comment.