Yup Cell O phone a great one.
I’m a sucker for a shuffle…so you had me as soon as the song started.
I agree with Brent it’s a bit wordy and a bit hard to process even with the lyrics in front of me.
I think that part of the songs charm is the nice mix of country and blues…
January 16, 2018
You must be signed in to post feedback.
I tried to tell you just what I feel but you got my mind spinning like a wheel
My nights are awake cause I'm thinking of you my days I'm feelin' blue
Give me a reason why you won't stay cause being all alone is not my way
This is just one game I can't play tell me why you do me this way?
I never thought that you would be kind of a woman that would want to leave
But here I am I'm a begging you please understand what you're doing to me
I'm going crazy because you're leavin' today I can't believe those words you say
This is just one price I can't pay tell me why you do me this way?
I try to call you on the cell-a-phone but every time I call it's never on
I think I see the writing on the wall could this be my wake up call?
You didn't even give me a clue that I would end up being your fool
Oh tell me why you do the things you do
I never thought that you would be kind of a woman that would want to leave
But here I am I'm a begging you please understand you're doing to me
I'm going crazy cause you left today I can't believe the words you say
This is just one price I can't pay tell me why you do me this way?
I try to call you on the cell-a-phone but every time I call it's never on
I think I see the writing on the wall could this be my wake up call?
You didn't even give me a clue that I would end up being your fool
Oh tell me why you do the things you do oh yeah
Oh tell me why you do the things you do I said, woman
Oh tell me why you do the things you do Yeah...tell me why
1
Hi, Archie! Thanks for sharing this with us! I like that it’s tempo- old school shuffle thing. Fun. Retro.
Speaking of retro, I dig that you can get away with saying “cell-a-phone.” Normally, that would feel ALL kinds of wrong. But here, in the retro-vibe, it totally works for me.
It’s so lyrically dense, though, that I wish there were more images to I’m not so bombarded with information I have to process (images can tell a story in a more easily processed way- a picture is worth 1000 words). That’s really my one piece of advice. Nice work!
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 15, 2018
1
Yup Cell O phone a great one.
I’m a sucker for a shuffle…so you had me as soon as the song started.
I agree with Brent it’s a bit wordy and a bit hard to process even with the lyrics in front of me.
I think that part of the songs charm is the nice mix of country and blues…
January 16, 2018
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Brent Baxter
Hi, Archie! Thanks for sharing this with us! I like that it’s tempo- old school shuffle thing. Fun. Retro.
Speaking of retro, I dig that you can get away with saying “cell-a-phone.” Normally, that would feel ALL kinds of wrong. But here, in the retro-vibe, it totally works for me.
It’s so lyrically dense, though, that I wish there were more images to I’m not so bombarded with information I have to process (images can tell a story in a more easily processed way- a picture is worth 1000 words). That’s really my one piece of advice. Nice work!
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 15, 2018