A breakup story where refusing to accept it and trying to get back to her creates an unusual trip. This is a NEW VERSION of a song posted 2 times previously ( Old Title: I Can't Wait to See You Again) Hopefully this is a lot better.
Feedback is welcome and thank you in advance for your time and comments.
Thank you Brent
For your help and advice. I’ll work on it more. I get what you are saying. 
November 11, 2017
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“I Can’t Wait”
Daring fate with one head light on a cold moonless night
With fear drivin’ how can my heartache disappear
Old thoughts of you in my head hidin’ out of sight
Memory frozen, your words I still hear
[Chorus]
In my mind I can’t let anything change
If I lose myself will I find you again?
I can’t wait; I can’t wait to see you again
I can’t wait; I can’t wait to see you again
“I’m leaving” I hear again pushing harder on the gas
Pretending it never happened, I believe you’ll be there
Two dim tail lights appear; I swerve into the past
Happier times soothe my heart, I say a silent prayer
[Repeat Chorus]
With every thought I leave reality behind
Time’s a magician playing tricks on my fear
Traveling in my mind speeding to transcend time
Trying to arrive before I miss you leaving me
[Repeat Chorus]
[Bridge]
Losing myself in illusions – reality I can’t find
Trying to make my beliefs real - I’m trapped, lost in time
[Repeat Chorus]
Outro: I can’t wait, I can’t wait to see you again…
© 2017 lyrics by David A. Pritchett
1
Hey, David! I like the driving (no pun intended) feel of the song. I like that 1st line image. Puts me in the movie right away.
I’m missing some clarity. There’s some vagueness in the lyric that makes it hard for me to connect emotionally (beyond the melody and urgency of the feel). Where is the “there” in the 2nd verse? Her house? Somewhere else? Questions like that bug me.
But I like the urgency of the melody- it fits the idea quite well. Good job on that.
Hope that helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
October 14, 2017
0
Thank you Brent
For your help and advice. I’ll work on it more. I get what you are saying.
November 11, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, David! I like the driving (no pun intended) feel of the song. I like that 1st line image. Puts me in the movie right away.
I’m missing some clarity. There’s some vagueness in the lyric that makes it hard for me to connect emotionally (beyond the melody and urgency of the feel). Where is the “there” in the 2nd verse? Her house? Somewhere else? Questions like that bug me.
But I like the urgency of the melody- it fits the idea quite well. Good job on that.
Hope that helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
October 14, 2017