I saw her in the window seat on the plane from Wichita, gazing out on golden fields. I know that isn’t what she saw.
Thanks for your kind feedback, Graham. I have been accused of being overly poetic before! It’s a metaphor of America. Brent has cautioned about the danger of “knowing too much” about what your song means. It wasn’t intentionally obscure. I just thought it was obvious. That’s why feedback is a good thing. Incidentally, it was a First Place Lyric Winner in the Unisong International Song Contest. So some people do get it. I often rewrite songs, but I like this one the way it is.
August 17, 2017
No members have liked this comment.
That makes more sense now. Don’t take my feedback the wrong way. Like I said, I am not always good at interpreting this style of music so it is probably just me.
That is cool that it one a contest!
August 19, 2017
No members have liked this comment.
Graham, there’s no such thing as bad feedback. I really appreciate your comments. Contests are a crap shoot, and I just got lucky on that one.
September 12, 2017
No members have liked this comment.
I like the finger picking guitar in this song. I think you should have another singer or dubbing in there to bring out the vocals.
October 27, 2020
No members have liked this comment.
Thanks, John. It was just a home recording, and I know it could be a lot better. I am my own worst producer! I appreciate the feedback, though. Helps me know what I would need to do if I ever get to make another recording.
October 31, 2020
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
I saw her in the window seat
On the plane from Wichita,
Gazing out on golden fields.
I know that isn’t what she saw.
I know that isn’t what she saw.
She sat there in her faded beauty,
Skin soft as a sandy dune,
Silver glimmer on her lips,
As if she had kissed the moon,
As if she had kissed the moon.
Chorus:
Oh, Faded beauty,
The clouds are marching through the skies
They look like wedding dresses
On young brides
Above the tattered flag
Of countryside.
She was wearing diamond earrings,
A leather coat with ermine trim,
Mementos of a love she lost.
It’s all that she has left of him,
All that she has left of him.
It was on election day,
The halls were filled with groans and sighs
And choices made and thrown away
Between the promises and lies,
Between the promises and lies.
(Chorus)
0
I like the song. As is often the case with me and folk songs I have some trouble understanding what the idea of the song is, but like I said, that is probably just me. I do like the imagery and refreshing rhymes. Very nice.
August 17, 2017
0
Thanks for your kind feedback, Graham. I have been accused of being overly poetic before! It’s a metaphor of America. Brent has cautioned about the danger of “knowing too much” about what your song means. It wasn’t intentionally obscure. I just thought it was obvious. That’s why feedback is a good thing. Incidentally, it was a First Place Lyric Winner in the Unisong International Song Contest. So some people do get it. I often rewrite songs, but I like this one the way it is.
August 17, 2017
0
That makes more sense now. Don’t take my feedback the wrong way. Like I said, I am not always good at interpreting this style of music so it is probably just me.
That is cool that it one a contest!
August 19, 2017
0
Graham, there’s no such thing as bad feedback. I really appreciate your comments. Contests are a crap shoot, and I just got lucky on that one.
September 12, 2017
0
I like the finger picking guitar in this song. I think you should have another singer or dubbing in there to bring out the vocals.
October 27, 2020
0
Thanks, John. It was just a home recording, and I know it could be a lot better. I am my own worst producer! I appreciate the feedback, though. Helps me know what I would need to do if I ever get to make another recording.
October 31, 2020
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Graham Donahue
I like the song. As is often the case with me and folk songs I have some trouble understanding what the idea of the song is, but like I said, that is probably just me. I do like the imagery and refreshing rhymes. Very nice.
August 17, 2017
No members have liked this comment.