Song about finally finding the courage to end a bad relationship.
Feedback on anything and everything is appreciated!
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VERSE
God knows I'm a sucker for second chances
Cause I hand them out so dang easily
Putting the hammer back into his outstretched hand
And giving him the power to mend or to break me down again
Yeah
VERSE
By now you would think I'd of learned my lesson
There's been so many times my heart has cried
And for some reason I keep coming back to you
But I won't be coming back this time
CHORUS
I'm gonna break the chains that you locked on me
I'm gonna unlock the cuffs and throw away the key
So you won't be able to reel me in and lock me up again
Cause no I'm not your prisoner anymore
And I've found some strength I've never had before
And so I'm walking out, leavin' you
And it's safe to say that we are finally through
We are finally through
Yeah
VERSE
So don't say that you never saw this coming
We both know it should've ended long ago
And I was a fool to believe you when you said it wouldn't happen again
But this time I'm done being a part of your show
CHORUS
BRIDGE
And I'm finally through with all your games
And all your secrets and all your lies
And I'm finally done with being played
And crying all the time
2ND CHORUS
Cause I broke the chains that you locked on me
Yeah I unlocked the cuffs and threw away the key
So now you won't be able to reel me in and lock me up again
Cause no I'm not your prisoner anymore
And I've found some strength I've never had before
And so I walked out, I left you
And it's safe to say that we are finally through
OUTRO
We are finally through
Yeah we are finally through
Yeah
Yeah we are finally through
0
Hi, Katie! Thanks for sharing. I like that the song is empowering. That’s always a good thing. I also like that it’s uptempo. Good thing, too. The structure is solid.
I guess what I’m missing are the specifics. Show me the bad relationship- don’t just tell me about it. Without the small details, it doesn’t feel as real to me. The believability of a song comes in the emotion of the singer and in the details of the lyric. You don’t always have to hammer us with detail after detail after detail, but a few well-placed and well-chosen details about the story can really make your song come to life.
Also, I’d change the 1st verse to putting the hammer back into “YOUR outstretched hand” and “giving YOU the power to mend,” etc. This makes it all about this one guy, not what other guys have done before. It’s not about them. They’re not the core of this idea. It’s all about you and this one guy- so focus on that.
That’s my $0.02. I hope it helps. I’d appreciate it if you’d pay it forward by leaving a comment or feedback on another writer’s song. They’d appreciate it, and so would I!
April 16, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hi, Katie! Thanks for sharing. I like that the song is empowering. That’s always a good thing. I also like that it’s uptempo. Good thing, too. The structure is solid.
I guess what I’m missing are the specifics. Show me the bad relationship- don’t just tell me about it. Without the small details, it doesn’t feel as real to me. The believability of a song comes in the emotion of the singer and in the details of the lyric. You don’t always have to hammer us with detail after detail after detail, but a few well-placed and well-chosen details about the story can really make your song come to life.
Also, I’d change the 1st verse to putting the hammer back into “YOUR outstretched hand” and “giving YOU the power to mend,” etc. This makes it all about this one guy, not what other guys have done before. It’s not about them. They’re not the core of this idea. It’s all about you and this one guy- so focus on that.
That’s my $0.02. I hope it helps. I’d appreciate it if you’d pay it forward by leaving a comment or feedback on another writer’s song. They’d appreciate it, and so would I!
April 16, 2017
No members have liked this comment.