July 14, 2016
Genre: Country
Thanks for the feedback, Brent! All good points. It’s great to have an expert outsider’s perspective!
This one may be worth a re-write if I can get the other writers on board. I’ll keep you posted if it happens!
January 17, 2017
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Let’s take it back to the days
Gettin’ part time paid
Just to spend it on her every weekend
I was broke as a joke, but it was worth it
‘Cause she was
Blackberry smoke, Cherry Coke
Yeah we used to know
All the words on the the radio
Oh, it rocked while we rolled
Yeah, we dropped the windows
Blackberry smoke, Cherry Coke
And a girl that I used to know
Whoa-oh-oh
Let’s take it back to the days
Wearin’ knock-off shades
She’d slide a little closer and I’d hold her tight
Couldn't wait for the weekend, she was Friday night
Chorus
She was a candy apple kiss
She was as good as it gets
She was a high and a night you don't want to miss
Chorus
1
Hey, George! Thanks for sharing your song! There’s a lot of good stuff going on. You’re definitely paying attention to current, commercial country. Cool phrasing, positive-love-tempo/groove.
When it comes to the title, if I weren’t looking at the lyric, I’d want to call it Blackberry Smoke. Of course, that’s tricky ‘cuz of the country band by the same name. “Blackberry Smoke, Cherry Coke” maybe?
There’s something missing, though… some sort of emotional connection. Who is the singer singing to? Not the girl, obviously. And it’s a little weird to tell the general audience, “Hey let’s go back to a girl I used to know.” Should be a simple fix, though, to say how you (the singer) want to go back to then and her. Or could you even be singing TO the girl you used to know. Singing first-person to the girl is more impactful, and commercial. Something to consider.
A lot of cool stuff going on here. I’d love for ya to post some more songs!
January 16, 2017
0
Thanks for the feedback, Brent! All good points. It’s great to have an expert outsider’s perspective!
This one may be worth a re-write if I can get the other writers on board. I’ll keep you posted if it happens!
January 17, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, George! Thanks for sharing your song! There’s a lot of good stuff going on. You’re definitely paying attention to current, commercial country. Cool phrasing, positive-love-tempo/groove.
When it comes to the title, if I weren’t looking at the lyric, I’d want to call it Blackberry Smoke. Of course, that’s tricky ‘cuz of the country band by the same name. “Blackberry Smoke, Cherry Coke” maybe?
There’s something missing, though… some sort of emotional connection. Who is the singer singing to? Not the girl, obviously. And it’s a little weird to tell the general audience, “Hey let’s go back to a girl I used to know.” Should be a simple fix, though, to say how you (the singer) want to go back to then and her. Or could you even be singing TO the girl you used to know. Singing first-person to the girl is more impactful, and commercial. Something to consider.
A lot of cool stuff going on here. I’d love for ya to post some more songs!
January 16, 2017