This is a demo of a song I wrote with J.W. Faria and Emily Kroll.
This song has a different feel than most of what's out there in the Country market right now but there's something that just seems cool about it to me. I am very interested to know what y'all think. Any thoughts or feedback is greatly appreciated - lyrics, structure, melody, etc. I'm also working on learning more about the production side of things and recorded and produced this demo myself and would love some production feedback from any of you that have engineer or producer leanings as well. Thanks!
Thanks Wonder for the feedback! I totally agree with you about the guitar D/I and normally record with a combination of D/I and Mic - can’t recall why I chose not to on this one.
My voice is definitely something I’m working on and I really appreciate your specific feedback in that area!
The guitar percussion was one of my favorite elements too - so gad you liked it.
Thanks again for taking the time to listen and share your thoughts!
-SK
April 21, 2016
No members have liked this comment.
Hi, Sean!
Thanks for posting! I like the subtle internal rhyme in V1 of Barcelona and California. I also like the phrase “Mustang bullet.” Nice. Good use of imagery. It’s also positive love in the first person, which is spot-on, commercially.
I think you have an opportunity in your second verse. Right now, you’re just doing more of the same stuff that’s in V1- more cool experiences and places. Give us something new. Move the story or the emotion along. Maybe in the 2nd verse (or 3rd & 4th depending on how you think of it) - the section after the 1st chorus - you can talk about how you thought you were in love before, thought you knew what happiness was, etc. But, of course, none of that hit your heart like she did. Just remember to keep using cool imagery in that verse, though! Just because you’re getting more “emotional” don’t forget the pictures.
Overall, nice work. I’d love to see you post more stuff!
January 16, 2017
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
I've seen Paris in June
Ran with the bulls in Barcelona
Watched the California sunset
Drip into the sea
I've read Hemmingway
I've drank the strongest whiskey
Nothings ever knocked me back
Like your heart hit me
CHORUS:
Harder than a freight train
Stronger than a hurricane
Faster than a mustang
Bullet down a highway
That's the way
Your heart hit me
I've seen the Northern Lights
Surfed the waves just south of Rio
Jumped head first
From twelve-thousand feet
I've stood on the banks
Of the roaring Mississippi
But nothing's ever knocked me back
Like your heart hit me
CHORUS
BRIDGE:
Of all the wonder I have felt
As I wander through this life
Nothing comes close to your eyes
Nothing comes close to your smile
Nothing comes close to how your heart hit me
Written by: Sean Kasey, Emily Kroll and J.W. Faria
1
The firs thing I noticed (and this is just a personal preference) was the tone of the acoustic guitar going direct. I personally can’t stand the way acoustic guitars sound when recorded direct as opposed to with an external mic, or at least a mix of the two.
That makes it difficult for me to connect with the rest of the song.
I like the intro of guitar percussion into the second verse. That was a really nice lead-in.
I would work on vocal tone. You have some really lovely vocal parts on your wider vowels, but there are phrases where your tone is thin and nasally.
This song has a really nice vibe and pace overall, though! Emily Kroll’s vocals are a really nice touch. (:
April 21, 2016
0
Thanks Wonder for the feedback! I totally agree with you about the guitar D/I and normally record with a combination of D/I and Mic - can’t recall why I chose not to on this one.
My voice is definitely something I’m working on and I really appreciate your specific feedback in that area!
The guitar percussion was one of my favorite elements too - so gad you liked it.
Thanks again for taking the time to listen and share your thoughts!
-SK
April 21, 2016
0
Hi, Sean!
Thanks for posting! I like the subtle internal rhyme in V1 of Barcelona and California. I also like the phrase “Mustang bullet.” Nice. Good use of imagery. It’s also positive love in the first person, which is spot-on, commercially.
I think you have an opportunity in your second verse. Right now, you’re just doing more of the same stuff that’s in V1- more cool experiences and places. Give us something new. Move the story or the emotion along. Maybe in the 2nd verse (or 3rd & 4th depending on how you think of it) - the section after the 1st chorus - you can talk about how you thought you were in love before, thought you knew what happiness was, etc. But, of course, none of that hit your heart like she did. Just remember to keep using cool imagery in that verse, though! Just because you’re getting more “emotional” don’t forget the pictures.
Overall, nice work. I’d love to see you post more stuff!
January 16, 2017
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Wonder
The firs thing I noticed (and this is just a personal preference) was the tone of the acoustic guitar going direct. I personally can’t stand the way acoustic guitars sound when recorded direct as opposed to with an external mic, or at least a mix of the two.
That makes it difficult for me to connect with the rest of the song.
I like the intro of guitar percussion into the second verse. That was a really nice lead-in.
I would work on vocal tone. You have some really lovely vocal parts on your wider vowels, but there are phrases where your tone is thin and nasally.
This song has a really nice vibe and pace overall, though! Emily Kroll’s vocals are a really nice touch. (:
April 21, 2016