From one of my pastor's sermons - Giving every moment to Christ and really knowing Him as a person.
The pic is of my beautiful wife Ellen who praises God with music completely from the inside out.
The song is pretty much finished, but I'd love to hear your feedback about how it flows, if the hook is memorable and whether or not you feel it would fit in a modern worship setting.
Hi, Martin! Thanks for sharing. I pretty much agree with David’s comment about there being a lot of “I.” I don’t mind it in Verse 1, but in the chorus, I want to hear something more like “welcome me in” or something asking the Lord to draw you in or something. Something about it almost seems to put the emphasis too much on the singer instead of the Lord. Just my $0.02. Hope it helps!
December 28, 2016
No members have liked this comment.
Good Song, I would just re write the chorus and make it stand out with the message of the song Title, the last few lines of the song you do a repitition of the song title, perhaps I welcome you in another line, I welcome you in and another line, I welcome you in Lord (Final line), this would hammer home the message of the song to the listener,and also create and ear bug,(the hook) that people go away. But it’s a good song, keep up the good work
July 26, 2019
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
I Welcome You In - Martin Vipond
Verse 1
I want to know
I want to know You better
I want to know You, deep inside
I want to give,
Give You all the moments
I want to set aside my pride.
Pre-chorus:
Because You are the answer
I’ve been looking for
And You broke through granite
And opened up the door.
Chorus:
I welcome You in
I welcome You in
I welcome You in, My Lord.
I welcome You in.
Verse 2:
I want to hear
I want to hear Your promise
I want to hear the words of grace.
I want to see
I want to see Your beauty
The beauty in Your face.
Bridge:
My stony heart was longing for Your peace
I felt Your touch and You granted my release.
Pre-chorus 2X
Chorus 2X
0
Hi Martin
Thanks for the song. I really like the melody and arrangement. From your pic I was expecting guitar but the piano works well to establish the melodic phrase.
One thing I would say about the lyric is that there is a lot of ‘I’ in there. It seems to be a song about how ‘I’ want to respond to God rather than about how great He is. The danger here is that the song becomes about what the congregation is doing and feeling rather than how great God is and what God is doing.
Other than that - I really like where you are going - you have a good voice that is easy to listen to. Keep it up!
January 29, 2016
0
Hi, Martin! Thanks for sharing. I pretty much agree with David’s comment about there being a lot of “I.” I don’t mind it in Verse 1, but in the chorus, I want to hear something more like “welcome me in” or something asking the Lord to draw you in or something. Something about it almost seems to put the emphasis too much on the singer instead of the Lord. Just my $0.02. Hope it helps!
December 28, 2016
0
Good Song, I would just re write the chorus and make it stand out with the message of the song Title, the last few lines of the song you do a repitition of the song title, perhaps I welcome you in another line, I welcome you in and another line, I welcome you in Lord (Final line), this would hammer home the message of the song to the listener,and also create and ear bug,(the hook) that people go away. But it’s a good song, keep up the good work
July 26, 2019
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
David Goodchild
Hi Martin
Thanks for the song. I really like the melody and arrangement. From your pic I was expecting guitar but the piano works well to establish the melodic phrase.
One thing I would say about the lyric is that there is a lot of ‘I’ in there. It seems to be a song about how ‘I’ want to respond to God rather than about how great He is. The danger here is that the song becomes about what the congregation is doing and feeling rather than how great God is and what God is doing.
Other than that - I really like where you are going - you have a good voice that is easy to listen to. Keep it up!
January 29, 2016
No members have liked this comment.