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This song is based off of an inspiration submitted that read: "Thinking about thinking". It lead me to write specifically about my first panic attack.
Any feedback appreciated, just be constructive about both your criticisms and your compliments.
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Verse 1
Crawling on my feet, trying to breathe.
Heart is beating at twice the speed.
Asses the problem, try and find a way out.
I can’t seem to drown my thoughts or escape my own vox.
Bridge
Ring around the roses
Watch for thorns that snag us.
Ashes on the ground we
All fall down.
Verse 2
Searching quickly, running out of time.
Answers escape me, impossible to find.
I’m trapped in a perpetuating self contained hell.
I can’t seem to get my mind off of my mind.
Bridge
Ring around the roses
Watch for thorns that snag us.
Ashes on the ground we
All fall down.
Chorus
I can’t Break this cycle
I can’t turn the tide.
Always moving faster.
Searching for the time.
0
Hi Joshua
I like the opening riff this song is built around a lot - it kind of reminds me a little of Pinback - in a good way.
I’m not as crazy about the “ring around the roses” verses - I wish some words a little less cliche’d were used here - and I’m not as fond of the ‘bigger” wind-up at the end of the song (though your lead guitar there is very good) - but that may just be my preference for lower levels of bombast getting in the way of my objectivity - so take it with a grain of salt I guess. Overall - you’re obviously a talented musician and composer and i enjoyed it - I just wish it was all a little more tamped down at the end and that it stayed in a state of tension without any big release. But good job man - cheers!
March 27, 2014
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Don Nelson
Hi Joshua
I like the opening riff this song is built around a lot - it kind of reminds me a little of Pinback - in a good way.
I’m not as crazy about the “ring around the roses” verses - I wish some words a little less cliche’d were used here - and I’m not as fond of the ‘bigger” wind-up at the end of the song (though your lead guitar there is very good) - but that may just be my preference for lower levels of bombast getting in the way of my objectivity - so take it with a grain of salt I guess. Overall - you’re obviously a talented musician and composer and i enjoyed it - I just wish it was all a little more tamped down at the end and that it stayed in a state of tension without any big release. But good job man - cheers!
March 27, 2014
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