I took a few suggestions from other songwriters and tightened up the lyrics a little bit to create this new demo.
I appreciate any and all feedback...the good, bad, or ugly lol
Thank you so much Adam. I appreciate you taking the time to listen and reply. I will certainly take your suggestions into consideration. Thanks again
April 10, 2023
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Allan, I really like your song “Bed Is Still Unmade”. I’m going to listen to more songs later. Nice job ....
April 24, 2023
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I really like the overall feel of the song. Really nice melody and vocala !
July 01, 2023
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Our Bed Is Still Unmade
Words and music by Allan Rosensweig
Two coffee cups already drank up
Breakfast dishes fill the sink
Fumble with my keys like I’m ready to leave
But It’s never as easy as I think
Now you’re pulling me close til I taste your déjà vu
We both know where this is leading to
Our bed is still unmade
And the curtains hanging in this room
Are still closed, cause I already know
These kisses aint ending anytime soon
And your arms wrapped tight around me
Tangled up under last night’s sheets
I’m running so late
And our bed is still unmade
That sleepy sunrise heard a million goodbyes
But I’m no closer to the door
Probably gonna lie, say I had a flat tire
But I’ve told that lame excuse before
When you’re pulling me in I lose all my self control
You make leaving so hard to do
Oh our bed is still unmade
You know our bed is still unmade
And the curtains hanging in this room
Are still closed, cause I already know
These kisses aint ending anytime soon
And your arms wrapped tight around me
Tangled up under last night’s sheets
I’m running so late
And our bed is still unmade
Oh I’m running so late
And our bed is still unmade
Copyright 2023 by Allan M. Rosensweig
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You did well, the lyric seems good and the melody and feel are really nice in my opinion.
Since you said “good bad and ugly,” I’ll nitpick! “Faded curtains hanging in this room” makes it feel like they aren’t in their own room, or at least it isn’t the narrator’s room. Maybe just “our room,” or something like “the sunshine peaking through but the curtains still closed cause we already know…”
I really like the line “tangled up under last night’s sheets.”
Really fun up-tempo song.
April 10, 2023
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Thank you so much Adam. I appreciate you taking the time to listen and reply. I will certainly take your suggestions into consideration. Thanks again
April 10, 2023
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Allan, I really like your song “Bed Is Still Unmade”. I’m going to listen to more songs later. Nice job ....
April 24, 2023
0
I really like the overall feel of the song. Really nice melody and vocala !
July 01, 2023
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Adam deWeber
You did well, the lyric seems good and the melody and feel are really nice in my opinion.
Since you said “good bad and ugly,” I’ll nitpick! “Faded curtains hanging in this room” makes it feel like they aren’t in their own room, or at least it isn’t the narrator’s room. Maybe just “our room,” or something like “the sunshine peaking through but the curtains still closed cause we already know…”
I really like the line “tangled up under last night’s sheets.”
Really fun up-tempo song.
April 10, 2023
No members have liked this comment.