(Lyrics Revised Slightly Since Demo)

First Verse:
Two guys were talking politics
And one got out of hand
Here at the Last Chance Bar & Grill
No place for loud demands
The Barkeep had enough of them
The bouncer got a sign
He stood up then suddenly
Their politics aligned

So that got me to wondering
Which isn’t always good
If your leaders met in dive bars
Would things run as they should?

Chorus:
If Congress had a bouncer
Who’d be out on their ass?
If they all met in a dive bar
Would some good laws pass?

If they had to do a shot
When they forgot the middle class
They’d be drunker than a skunk
And thrown out on the grass

Second Verse:
It's the lefty and the righty
And they don’t get along
But maybe with some vodka
They wouldn’t be headstrong
They could compromise with quarters
Bounce it in and break a tie
We can figure out the borders
If we got a little high

We’d pass a law for cornhole
To be our country’s sport
And the winner of the beer chug
Is next up on the court

Chorus:
If Congress had a bouncer
Who’d be out on their ass?
If they all met in a dive bar
Would some good laws pass?

If they had to do a shot
When they forgot the middle class?
They’d be drunker than a skunk
And thrown out on the grass


Third Verse:
Our budget will be balanced now
We’ll square our nightly tab
Must pay before you drink more
It's kinda simple math

More recess time is not allowed
It's here they’ll go for fun
Throw some darts and draw some lines
And district maps are done

Put your arm around your brother
And find some common ground
Give a fist bump to your sister
We’re all one country now

Chorus:
Cuz If Congress had a bouncer
Who’d be out on their ass?
If they all met in a dive bar
Would our debt still amass

If they had to do a shot
When they forgot the middle class?
Yes I wish they had a bouncer
A big ol scary bouncer
Yes I wish they had a bouncer
To get them off their ass