Wrote the chorus of this first, and the verses basically reflect a one-sided dialogue between two people that were in a relationship and one of them just kind of walked out on the other. "Truth carries all, while time cures the mold." This was the first line written, from there it spun out on its own.
Verse lyrics are a little weak for my tastes, feedback on this is appreciated! And do you think another part is needed?
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How do I know that you're honest
Hopelessly lying about where you go
How can you say that you know me
You don't know the part of me that knows
This truth carries all
While time cures the mold
This truth carries all
My conscience unfolds
What do I do with all the flowers
That the people at the store don't buy
How could you leave without selling
All of these things you've left behind
1
Jack - I really like the idea of hearing one side of a conversation (kind of like sitting on a bus next to someone on a cellphone). And I think you have a neat melody. I think the lyric might be a little too vague. I was struggling to figure out what was going on between the singer and the person he was talking to. It would be more engaging if the “story” were just a little clearer.
Killer line - “while time cures the mold”. Keep working this one. I think you have the start of something good.
December 16, 2013
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Dick Plunk
Jack - I really like the idea of hearing one side of a conversation (kind of like sitting on a bus next to someone on a cellphone). And I think you have a neat melody. I think the lyric might be a little too vague. I was struggling to figure out what was going on between the singer and the person he was talking to. It would be more engaging if the “story” were just a little clearer.
Killer line - “while time cures the mold”. Keep working this one. I think you have the start of something good.
December 16, 2013