Performed & recorded by Mac Connelly with permission
Written by Mark Miller & John Sieger

If the elephants ran the circus, heads would roll
The lions and the tigers would get off of the dole
They’d sell off some animals and all the rides
The circus is too big, we’ve got to privatize
They’d take the price of tickets and cut it in half
We’d all work for peanuts, including the staff
They’d try to paint every state they visit red
They’d tear down the rings and build cages instead
It’s the greatest show on earth, try to get your money’s worth

And if the donkeys ran the circus, believe the change
They’d build a high-speed circus train
They’d raise ticket prices for you and me
But people who snuck in, well they could watch for free
And if they ran out of tickets, they’d just print more
Or borrow the rest from the circus next door
They’d try to paint every state they visit blue
They’d unionize the acts and all the animals, too
It’s the greatest show on earth, try to get your money’s worth

But the clowns run the circus as we all know
So the elephants and donkeys put on a good show
One makes plans while the other disrupts
It’s like watching Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck
The ringmaster’s sick, the performers are old
The paint is peeling and the canvas has mold
The big top still leaks whenever it rains
But if nothing else, it keeps us entertained
It’s the greatest show on earth, try to get your money’s worth

It’s the greatest show on earth, try to get your money’s worth