I wrote this a number of years ago. One of my friends on Facebook posted a picture of herself in Mexico, with a caption, "One margarita from a perfect day". I just loved how that sound. It's just an easy-going tune.
Any feedback is always good. I'm not sure of the structure of the song. I start out with a chorus, not common, but it's been done. But is it getting to the hook too soon? There really is no payoff. And the chorus is sung like 4 times. It might be too much. Thoughts?
Thanks for the reply, Nathan. I haven’t worked on this in a couple of years, it might be a good opportunity to work on my melody skills. Thanks!
April 20, 2020
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Chorus
One margarita away from a perfect day
Ond margarita closer to you
We don't have to make any plans but to sit our ass in the sand
to be one margarita from a perfect day
V1
We'll buy a one-way ticket down south.
Sell everything including the house.
Say our goodbyes and escape.
and let the tradewinds take us away.
Chorus
V2
Let those dark clouds float away.
Feel that sunshine warm our face.
Don't worry honey we'll be fine,
living on margarita time.
Chorus
Bridge
We'll leave that big city life behind.
We'll send out postcards Christmas time
Chorus
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I’d say it’s good. But I think you’re right; if you’re gonna sing the chorus a lot I’d spice it up a little. Sing you’re harmony parts a little more you know? Just my thoughts
April 20, 2020
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Thanks for the reply, Nathan. I haven’t worked on this in a couple of years, it might be a good opportunity to work on my melody skills. Thanks!
April 20, 2020
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Nathan Meggs
I’d say it’s good. But I think you’re right; if you’re gonna sing the chorus a lot I’d spice it up a little. Sing you’re harmony parts a little more you know? Just my thoughts
April 20, 2020
No members have liked this comment.