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I've been working on this song for awhile, I'm thinking it doesn't have any hit qualities but I was asked in other feedback sessions, That I need to dig deeper, I'm not sure how to do that within this song.
How can I dig deeper on a song like this. any thoughts on whether its even worth fixing.
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Evil Ways
Words and Music By Harold Mike Sizemore
Chorus
I spent 3 to 5 in Lebanon
For some dumb stuff that I stole
For all my evil ways
I finally reaped what I sowed
Verse
When I was a young boy
I nicked a thing or two
My mama taught me better
Listening to her was so hard to do.
When I’m laying in this old bunk
I know that she was right.
And all know my evil ways
Must have kept her up at night.
Chorus
Doing 3 to 5 in Lebanon
For dumb stuff that I stole
For all my evil ways
I finally reaped what I sowed
Verse
My daddy was a good man.
No one ever spoke ill of him
He lived his life to warn me
But I wouldn't give in.
When I'm out here in the hot sun
I know that he was right
For all my evil ways.
couldn’t help me find the light
Chorus
Doing 3 to 5 in Lebanon
For some dumb stuff that I stole
For all my evil ways
I finally reaped what I sowed
Verse
The preacher said on Sunday
That a man can still be saved.
Guess it’s a little better then in an early grave
Laying in the old bunk I prayed every night.
To escape my evil ways and finally see the light.
Chorus
Doing 3 to 5 in Lebanon
For some dumb stuff that I stole
For all my evil ways
I finally reaped what I sowed
Harold Mike Sizemore Music © 2019
0
Hello Harold,
Thanks for posting your song. I’ll give my very unprofessional, amateur critique-er thoughts. Lol… My first reaction, I instantly hear “I turned 21 in prison, doin’ life without parole”. This definitely has a Mama Tried kind of vibe to it. In fact, in your song, Mama and Daddy tried to steer you right. Lol. You ask if it has “hit” qualities, which is kind of subjective. I think you mean “radio hit”. If so, I don’t hear this as a radio song. It’s pretty old school sounding. But I really dug listening to it. Something about the stripped down sound of the recording and the way you sing it. It’s not the super-duper polished recordings you hear on the radio, but it sounds really cool. I think there are a lot of indie artists out there doing songs and recordings like this. I also could hear this as a background track in film or tv, because it has such a raw, unique sound to it. It’s a cool sounding song!
If you’re asking about it being a radio kind of song, not sure about that. Most of those songs follow the same old verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus formula, where your song starts with a chorus and then also has a third bridge. If you were to cut out that first chorus, and then turn that third verse into a bridge (if you did that, I’d also cut out the last two lines of that verse because you’ve already said them earlier in the song), you’d have the song form that’s more radio-ish… Digging deeper on the lyrics, huh? Let’s see. You didn’t shoot a man in Reno, so you only did 3-5 years in prison. Maybe that last verse about the preacher could talk about how that preacher saved you, turned your life around, and you learned from your mistakes? Kind of a happier ending. Maybe in the end, the twist could be that it ends up that you are the preacher that finally learned from your evil ways?....Anyway, I’ll stop rambling on. I really enjoyed listening to your song. Thanks for sharing.
February 13, 2020
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Rick Lane
Hello Harold,
Thanks for posting your song. I’ll give my very unprofessional, amateur critique-er thoughts. Lol… My first reaction, I instantly hear “I turned 21 in prison, doin’ life without parole”. This definitely has a Mama Tried kind of vibe to it. In fact, in your song, Mama and Daddy tried to steer you right. Lol. You ask if it has “hit” qualities, which is kind of subjective. I think you mean “radio hit”. If so, I don’t hear this as a radio song. It’s pretty old school sounding. But I really dug listening to it. Something about the stripped down sound of the recording and the way you sing it. It’s not the super-duper polished recordings you hear on the radio, but it sounds really cool. I think there are a lot of indie artists out there doing songs and recordings like this. I also could hear this as a background track in film or tv, because it has such a raw, unique sound to it. It’s a cool sounding song!
If you’re asking about it being a radio kind of song, not sure about that. Most of those songs follow the same old verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus formula, where your song starts with a chorus and then also has a third bridge. If you were to cut out that first chorus, and then turn that third verse into a bridge (if you did that, I’d also cut out the last two lines of that verse because you’ve already said them earlier in the song), you’d have the song form that’s more radio-ish… Digging deeper on the lyrics, huh? Let’s see. You didn’t shoot a man in Reno, so you only did 3-5 years in prison. Maybe that last verse about the preacher could talk about how that preacher saved you, turned your life around, and you learned from your mistakes? Kind of a happier ending. Maybe in the end, the twist could be that it ends up that you are the preacher that finally learned from your evil ways?....Anyway, I’ll stop rambling on. I really enjoyed listening to your song. Thanks for sharing.
February 13, 2020
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