Any feedback welcome
I really like those suggestions from Linne. Those two lines:
“Mistakes were made, so burn those bridges
I’ll help you find some new beginnings”
are pretty cool sounding. And bridges/beginnings is a near rhyme that’s not a real close near rhyme, but very nice sounding. They roll off the tongue well when I say those lines out loud. Especially if I pronounce it “beginnin’s”. 
Maybe even phrase it “Mistakes were made, let’s burn those bridges”, and I am only saying that because, I like how Linne’s suggestions are emphasizing that the singer isn’t just saying “come on home”, but he’s also saying “come on home, and I WANT TO HELP YOU GET BETTER, the past is in the past, and you don’t have to do it on your own.
February 13, 2020
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Wow there is some serious feedback I see.
i was simply going to say that I like this song and you have a great voice Paul.
I also like your song “Thank You” which is quite timely.
Let me know if you would like to collaborate in the future.
April 15, 2020
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
Come on Home 2.0
V
First friend, you were just two doors down
Fool to think you’d always be around
Never giving up fighting these battles alone
...you’ve been gone too long
... Your little sins have no definition
... That’s why they’re so easily forgiven
... Don’t you drown in deep regrets
Cause you deserve some happiness...
Ch.
You’re slightly beat, but you’re not broken
Wandered along this road alone
Your spirit tired but heart still open so
Come on home... come on home
V
Mistakes were made and bridges burned
Let the past go and take your turn
Time goes by way too fast
Just like promises that never last
Ch
B
Always doing favors
For everyone else
you should Live a little every day for yourself
Ch
You’re slightly beat, but you’re not broken
Now it’s time to come on home
stumbled along that rugged road..so
Come on home..
Repeat
0
Hey Paul,
I love this song! The melody, and the vocals just pulled me in! The lyric content can apply to so many people these days who are trying to fight their battles alone..whether it is homelessness, separation, addictions or whatever…
In your chorus, I’m wishing it were three ending rhymes , such as:
You’ve lost your way, but I’m still hopin’
You’ll see that road you’re on is broken
Just know my door is always open, so
Come on home..come on home..
Your second verse leaves me confused because it brings in time and promises that never last, creating a whole unknown dimension to your story.
In the interest in focusing, perhaps it might need to say something sort of like:
“Mistakes were made, so burn those bridges
I’ll help you find some new beginnings”
Whatever your strongest chorus is, that’s the one I would use throughout the song, and not try to give the listener totally different ones to contend with..
Best of luck with your wonderful song!
Sincerely,
Linne Black
February 03, 2020
0
I really like those suggestions from Linne. Those two lines:
“Mistakes were made, so burn those bridges
I’ll help you find some new beginnings”
are pretty cool sounding. And bridges/beginnings is a near rhyme that’s not a real close near rhyme, but very nice sounding. They roll off the tongue well when I say those lines out loud. Especially if I pronounce it “beginnin’s”. Maybe even phrase it “Mistakes were made, let’s burn those bridges”, and I am only saying that because, I like how Linne’s suggestions are emphasizing that the singer isn’t just saying “come on home”, but he’s also saying “come on home, and I WANT TO HELP YOU GET BETTER, the past is in the past, and you don’t have to do it on your own.
February 13, 2020
0
Wow there is some serious feedback I see.
i was simply going to say that I like this song and you have a great voice Paul.
I also like your song “Thank You” which is quite timely.
Let me know if you would like to collaborate in the future.
April 15, 2020
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Linne Black
Hey Paul,
I love this song! The melody, and the vocals just pulled me in! The lyric content can apply to so many people these days who are trying to fight their battles alone..whether it is homelessness, separation, addictions or whatever…
In your chorus, I’m wishing it were three ending rhymes , such as:
You’ve lost your way, but I’m still hopin’
You’ll see that road you’re on is broken
Just know my door is always open, so
Come on home..come on home..
Your second verse leaves me confused because it brings in time and promises that never last, creating a whole unknown dimension to your story.
In the interest in focusing, perhaps it might need to say something sort of like:
“Mistakes were made, so burn those bridges
I’ll help you find some new beginnings”
Whatever your strongest chorus is, that’s the one I would use throughout the song, and not try to give the listener totally different ones to contend with..
Best of luck with your wonderful song!
Sincerely,
Linne Black
February 03, 2020
No members have liked this comment.