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A story about a couple trying to keep their relationship going when at times seems lost
Hi, Michael! Thanks for sharing your song with us. Your song has some nice melody, and I like the title. However, there are a lot of metaphors in here- you spend more time, it seems, on the car metaphor than on the fence metaphor. I’d aim more at the title, really focus. There are some nice images in verse 2. I’d like more clarity in verse 1. What did you say? Why were you tired? What were you tired of?
Hope that helps. Keep on writing, and thanks again for sharing your song with us!
December 20, 2019
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Broken Fences (Copywrite 2018)
There’s something we must do, to fix our broken fences
We need to get thru, all our crazy, defenses
So many times, we both said too much
Feeling so tired, can’t seem to find the clutch
Got in my fast car, decided to drive so fast
My gas gage in the empty, nearly didn’t last
I put on some country, to help sooth my aching heart
I want to hear your voice again, we can’t stay apart……we can’t stay apart
Broken Fences
We lost all our senses
We know, the consequences
Just too many expenses… yea, yea, yea
We need to keep talking, and end the crazy games
We can stop talking bad, drop all the crazy names
You said to relax, be so easy, you know what’s best
You drove from the east, to live in the west
You wore some cool glasses, with crazy looking frames
You wanted to find change, cause nothing stays the same
I brought you flowers, yellow, pink and red
You read your note last night, I remembered what you said, I remembered what you said
Broken Fences
We lost all our senses
We know, the consequences
Just too many expenses ...yea, yea, yea
Filled up my tank last night, lowered my tan rag top
We both expectations, we know what must be done
Driving on a long straight road, seems likes a thousand miles
Oh, I missed you kiss last night, love to see you smile
Broken Fences
We lost all our senses
We know, the consequences
Just too many expenses … yea, yea, yea
There’s something we must do, to fix our broken fences
We need to get thru, all our crazy, defenses
So many times, we both said too much
Let’s go have a date tonight, call and keep in touch
Broken Fences
We lost all our senses
We know, there’s consequences
Just too many expenses … yea, yea, yea
Broken Fences
We lost all our senses
Drop our crazy defenses
Stop and think, let it go…… just fix both our fences
Forget the past, come on back, time to fix our fences
Forget the past, come on back
0
I really like the production of this song. Did you DIY it or was this done in a studio?
December 19, 2019
0
Hi, Michael! Thanks for sharing your song with us. Your song has some nice melody, and I like the title. However, there are a lot of metaphors in here- you spend more time, it seems, on the car metaphor than on the fence metaphor. I’d aim more at the title, really focus. There are some nice images in verse 2. I’d like more clarity in verse 1. What did you say? Why were you tired? What were you tired of?
Hope that helps. Keep on writing, and thanks again for sharing your song with us!
December 20, 2019
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Dave Grandel
I really like the production of this song. Did you DIY it or was this done in a studio?
December 19, 2019
No members have liked this comment.