so my new buddy Daniel Mann and I got together and did a re-write/co-write of his song "rearview", this is what we came up with.
any. thanks
Hey marilyn, thanks so much for the feedback. we appreciate your thoughts on the lyric.
Joel
July 27, 2019
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In my rear view
we stood at the alter we both said I do
I was sincere now i'm doubting you
your after work drinks, late nights on the town
when your here with its like your not around
are we in this together? am I in this alone?
your life's all caught in your damn phone
CHORUS
how would be if you thought you could lose me?
what if I said I can't love you anymore
how would you be if I packed and walked out the door?
i'm gonna get so far away
next time I see you you'll be in rear view
in my rear view
would you plead with me to sit and talk it out?
would you block the door stopping me from walking on out?
promise me the world say all the right things
or just hand me my keys and watch me leave?
would you say I don't care if you stay or go?
After all this time I just have to know
REPEAT CHORUS
BRIDGE
it's the end of the line the fork in the road
if your gonna keep treating me this way
let's just walk away with nothing left to say
REPEAT CHORUS
I don't care about the games you play
next time I see you
you'll be in my rear view
songwriters: Daniel Mann, Joel Holman
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I like this. To me, in my humble opinion, it seems you should say “When we stood at the alter…..” as this story has moved on from that point, as is I pictured they are there at that moment; and then perhaps in the second line “I was sincere then now I’m doubting you”
This is a great song, I like your hook. Good job.
~M
July 26, 2019
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Hey marilyn, thanks so much for the feedback. we appreciate your thoughts on the lyric.
Joel
July 27, 2019
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Marilyn Oakley
I like this. To me, in my humble opinion, it seems you should say “When we stood at the alter…..” as this story has moved on from that point, as is I pictured they are there at that moment; and then perhaps in the second line “I was sincere then now I’m doubting you”
This is a great song, I like your hook. Good job.
~M
July 26, 2019
No members have liked this comment.