Driving by the Trailer Park, my son's buddy said "That place is spooky" and Mobile Home O Phobic popped in my head. Went downhill from there!
Any
Okay, thanks Dennis. I’m thinking to shorten the intro and then move the little solo break towards the end maybe. Appreciate you input.
October 12, 2013
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Kenny - I think you did a great job of turning an interesting hook into an interesting song. I like the “talking blues” feel of it. I participate in a twice weekly jam group and I have to say that this song would be a blast to jam to with all the musical breaks and clever lyrics.
I did feel that the verse about your girl talking with all her friends felt a little weak to me. (“they said she’s phobic, but no one said anything about mobile home phobic”). I just thought this verse could be stronger like the first two. (I think there were two before it. Nonetheless - good song.
October 16, 2013
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Thank you Dick, I’ll have to figure out how to beef that up a bit. The scene was “supposed” to suggest she was surrounded by all types of women at the parade, who were maybe not the people she would normally hang out with. I’ll think about making that more clear. Thanks again.
October 16, 2013
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Interesting story. The guitar and flow of the song really fit nicely together. The second part of the song (after the solo break) starts to loose me some. I guess what I mean is there are a lot of visuals that I was trying to piece together in my head, but was not able to do so quick enough so I got lost along the way. All in all I like the feeling of this and I think its a fun and catchy. Thanks for sharing!
October 12, 2013
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Okay, thanks Dennis. I’m thinking to shorten the intro and then move the little solo break towards the end maybe. Appreciate you input.
October 12, 2013
0
Kenny - I think you did a great job of turning an interesting hook into an interesting song. I like the “talking blues” feel of it. I participate in a twice weekly jam group and I have to say that this song would be a blast to jam to with all the musical breaks and clever lyrics.
I did feel that the verse about your girl talking with all her friends felt a little weak to me. (“they said she’s phobic, but no one said anything about mobile home phobic”). I just thought this verse could be stronger like the first two. (I think there were two before it. Nonetheless - good song.
October 16, 2013
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Thank you Dick, I’ll have to figure out how to beef that up a bit. The scene was “supposed” to suggest she was surrounded by all types of women at the parade, who were maybe not the people she would normally hang out with. I’ll think about making that more clear. Thanks again.
October 16, 2013
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Dennis Field
Interesting story. The guitar and flow of the song really fit nicely together. The second part of the song (after the solo break) starts to loose me some. I guess what I mean is there are a lot of visuals that I was trying to piece together in my head, but was not able to do so quick enough so I got lost along the way. All in all I like the feeling of this and I think its a fun and catchy. Thanks for sharing!
October 12, 2013
No members have liked this comment.