This song has a lot of meaning to me, it's a country love tune. I wrote this song for a good friend of mine who was going through a tough divorce. It helped to ease his pain, and I hope that it does the same for anyone else who hears it.
Singing, story, lyrics, structure, ect, any feedback is appreciated.
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I been hoping I been praying almost every night. 14
You might come back to me that you might realize 12
how much I love you, now Girl I just hope you do. 13
And I been reading old love letter's looking at photograph's 15
thinking how happy you were with me in the past, 12
honey what went wrong? and why can't we just get along?. 13
My heart skip's a beat every time the phone rings, every time I hear someone tap at my door. I break down and cry every time I hear her song on the Radio, It makes me want you even more.
I wonder do you ever stop and really think of me 14
And do I ever cross your mind and am I in your dreams 14
God it's been so long, I wish that you'd just come back home.13
I promise that I'll change it wont be like before 12
If you could find it in your heart to take me back once more 14
I'd be a better man I'd listen and I'd understand. 14
My heart skips a beat every time the phone rings. Every time I hear someone tap at my door. I break down and cry every time I hear Her song on the radio. It makes me want you even more.
And Ia'm going to love you like nobody love's you
And Ia'm going to hold you and never let you go Cause" I Know"
I been hoping I been praying almost every night you might come back to me that you might realize how much I love you, Now girl I just hope you do.
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Hi, Kevin!
Thanks for sharing this song with us. It’s pretty old-school country, which is fine. But it you’re aiming for current mainstream country cuts and hits, you need to update the sound. The odds of getting something this traditional is pretty slim. You need to give me something unexpected and fresh melodically. And it would be nice if your production added to the “new” feel, too.
Lyrically, it makes sense. You have your main point, and you stick to it. That focus is great. I know what you’re talking about, who you’re talking to, and I don’t get lost. However, it’s all pretty standard language. I’ve heard all this stuff before- praying she’ll come back, reading old love letters, looking at old photos, etc. It’s all be said before many times over. I’m not saying you can’t have your character DO those things in your song, but you MUST find a new way to describe it. Give me some fresh language, give me some fresh imagery.
There were a few lyrical things that “bumped” for me. You mention “her song.” Who is “her?” For the whole song, you’re singing to “you.” However, this line mentions “her.” Grammatically-speaking, “you” CAN’T be “her.” So… who is “her?”
Also, the line “My heart skips a beat every time the phone rings, every time I hear someone tap at my door” has a big pause between “phone rings” and “every time.” That pause makes me think one thought ends with “phone rings.” Like “phone rings” is the end of a sentence. And I think a new thought or new sentence begins with “every time.” But then it’s an incomplete sentence/thought: “every time I hear someone tap at my door.” Then there’s another big pause. Reading your lyric, it makes sense, but listening down while not having the lyric, it’s a little confusing.
Always try to keep complete thoughts between big pauses. When we’re having a spoken conversation, we don’t…
...pause…
...in the middle…
...of a sentence. So we should avoid that in our songwriting.
But, again, I like that most of your lyric is clear, understandable, and focused.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
February 05, 2018
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Brent Baxter
Hi, Kevin!
Thanks for sharing this song with us. It’s pretty old-school country, which is fine. But it you’re aiming for current mainstream country cuts and hits, you need to update the sound. The odds of getting something this traditional is pretty slim. You need to give me something unexpected and fresh melodically. And it would be nice if your production added to the “new” feel, too.
Lyrically, it makes sense. You have your main point, and you stick to it. That focus is great. I know what you’re talking about, who you’re talking to, and I don’t get lost. However, it’s all pretty standard language. I’ve heard all this stuff before- praying she’ll come back, reading old love letters, looking at old photos, etc. It’s all be said before many times over. I’m not saying you can’t have your character DO those things in your song, but you MUST find a new way to describe it. Give me some fresh language, give me some fresh imagery.
There were a few lyrical things that “bumped” for me. You mention “her song.” Who is “her?” For the whole song, you’re singing to “you.” However, this line mentions “her.” Grammatically-speaking, “you” CAN’T be “her.” So… who is “her?”
Also, the line “My heart skips a beat every time the phone rings, every time I hear someone tap at my door” has a big pause between “phone rings” and “every time.” That pause makes me think one thought ends with “phone rings.” Like “phone rings” is the end of a sentence. And I think a new thought or new sentence begins with “every time.” But then it’s an incomplete sentence/thought: “every time I hear someone tap at my door.” Then there’s another big pause. Reading your lyric, it makes sense, but listening down while not having the lyric, it’s a little confusing.
Always try to keep complete thoughts between big pauses. When we’re having a spoken conversation, we don’t…
...pause…
...in the middle…
...of a sentence. So we should avoid that in our songwriting.
But, again, I like that most of your lyric is clear, understandable, and focused.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
February 05, 2018
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