This Face is a song written from what may be the waning thoughts of a severely depressed person as well as my own personal experience. On August 11 1972 my father took his life in the very same manner as Robin Williams did..
I think because of the subject matter and it's weight This Face is a hard sell, and I don't feel I want to change it cause it seems to get the message across. Thoughts about how and where to pitch it?..TV, Movies etc?...
Neat song. Has a “Horse With No Name” feel to it for me. I agree with the 3rd person approach mentioned above….making the song about somebody vs the first person journalistic approach, could make the song easier to latch onto and accept if the listener is trying to picture this person vs stare at the singer and make judgments about them directly. I could see it used in a drama film or documentary…especially one on suicide, however getting that sort of exposure is a mystery to me at this time!
Also just wanted to say kudos to you for turning such a sad and overwhelming situation into something positive like art. I cant imagine what that was like, and I’m sure your story would inspire others, and perhaps this song would be an avenue for that inspiration.
January 03, 2018
Nice job Tony. Sorry for your loss music has and always will b a great theraputic tool. I agree on Brent comment about folk. I could picture this in a t.v. spot in a sitcom somewhere. I love the words and my wife enjoyed this as well thank you my friend.
January 15, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Great job on the song Tony! You got some great advice from experts much smarter than me, so I’ll comment on what I know.
I love the melody, the acoustic guitar track which is perfect for the song, and the strings really added to the song for me.
Your reason for writing it is touching, and I loved Robin Williams, and have read about his battles with identity and not being comfortable in his own skin at times.
November 21, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
Verse 1
As I look up from the abyss thinking back on all I'll miss
I've come this far I don't want to fail again
And this tormented mind of mine is anything but fine
With pain so great how could anyone stand the strain
Chorus
This face I showed the world was not really me
I'd hide behind a smile, and say I’m fine
Pretending to be free
Verse 2
I had a family and a wife but a burden for a life
With all that love I still felt all alone
I know that leaving them this way hurts more that I can say
But it's the only way to let the pain go
Chorus
This face I showed the world was not really me
I'd hide behind a smile, and say I’m fine
Pretending to be free
Bridge
It's toughest when you’re battling yourself
The two sides never agree
Trying to gain control, but losing ground
With never a chance of being free
This Face
Verse 3
As my last thoughts slip away I think I can hear you say
“Oh my god whatever have you done?”
You scream, cry and shout but now without a doubt
It’s far too late for even 911
Chorus X 2
This face I showed the world was not really me
I'd hide behind a smile, and say I’m fine
Pretending to be free
August 12/13-2014 (The day after Robin Williams’s death)
Tony True, Lori True & Al Rozon SOCAN/SODRAC ©
0
Hey, Tony! Thanks for sharing your song- and welcome to Frettie!
Yes, this IS a tough pitch for a country song. Or any genre, for that matter. And this feels more like a folk or folk/pop song, given the language, the vocals and the production. Maybe it’s just mis-labelled as “country” on here. If not, that’s something to consider- I think the folk world would be more of a natural fit for this.
Who is the “you” in verse 3? His wife? Or someone else? It’s unclear, and it was unexpected, so it took me out of the song as I tried to figure out if I’d missed something.
Also, you could soften this a little bit by making it 3rd person instead of 1st. “That face he showed the world was not really him. He’d hide behind a smile, and say I’m/he’s fine. Pretending to be free.” Just a thought. Might make it more marketable, but it might not make it any better.
Hope that helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
December 19, 2017
1
Neat song. Has a “Horse With No Name” feel to it for me. I agree with the 3rd person approach mentioned above….making the song about somebody vs the first person journalistic approach, could make the song easier to latch onto and accept if the listener is trying to picture this person vs stare at the singer and make judgments about them directly. I could see it used in a drama film or documentary…especially one on suicide, however getting that sort of exposure is a mystery to me at this time!
Also just wanted to say kudos to you for turning such a sad and overwhelming situation into something positive like art. I cant imagine what that was like, and I’m sure your story would inspire others, and perhaps this song would be an avenue for that inspiration.
January 03, 2018
0
Nice job Tony. Sorry for your loss music has and always will b a great theraputic tool. I agree on Brent comment about folk. I could picture this in a t.v. spot in a sitcom somewhere. I love the words and my wife enjoyed this as well thank you my friend.
January 15, 2018
0
Great job on the song Tony! You got some great advice from experts much smarter than me, so I’ll comment on what I know.
I love the melody, the acoustic guitar track which is perfect for the song, and the strings really added to the song for me.
Your reason for writing it is touching, and I loved Robin Williams, and have read about his battles with identity and not being comfortable in his own skin at times.
November 21, 2018
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Brent Baxter
Hey, Tony! Thanks for sharing your song- and welcome to Frettie!
Yes, this IS a tough pitch for a country song. Or any genre, for that matter. And this feels more like a folk or folk/pop song, given the language, the vocals and the production. Maybe it’s just mis-labelled as “country” on here. If not, that’s something to consider- I think the folk world would be more of a natural fit for this.
Who is the “you” in verse 3? His wife? Or someone else? It’s unclear, and it was unexpected, so it took me out of the song as I tried to figure out if I’d missed something.
Also, you could soften this a little bit by making it 3rd person instead of 1st. “That face he showed the world was not really him. He’d hide behind a smile, and say I’m/he’s fine. Pretending to be free.” Just a thought. Might make it more marketable, but it might not make it any better.
Hope that helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
December 19, 2017
No members have liked this comment.