All feedback welcomed
Hey Nick
I really enjoyed listening to this.
Got swept up along with it all easily.
Nice work.
Thanks for sharing it.
Cheers
November 14, 2017
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Brent!
Thanks for listening, and for the feedback.
Sonya!
Thank you for listening!I’m glad you liked this one.
November 14, 2017
Along the lines of what Brent suggested, maybe you could just make this little change:
And I’m going down
And I’m just treading water
And maybe this:
but now that your’e gone
I sure l need a hand
The loneliness is more than I can stand
And I’m just treading water
Sounds great, though!
November 14, 2017
No members have liked this comment.
I would imagine you and the band are a good live show. Good work. Great dynamics in the production.
“Trying to find my way” I would have begged for some strong strong harmonies to really pop this one! Good job. Oh well, sounds kind of redundant to say good job with your productions and songs. LOL Great job.
November 16, 2017
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Hey, loved the title and overall concept. Like Brent I want to hear The title more, especially as the payoff at the end of the chorus. Guess some others have said that. Some good internal rhymes, though one has to be careful not to overdo them. Good production, appropriate for this idea.
RK
November 17, 2017
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Well you left me, forget me, hell I don't care is what I say out loud
You tried to warn me , I was storm free, just me and you on the out skirts of town
I should had paid attention when you mentioned that you weren't going to stay
Now it's over, the bed is colder, left behind the scent on your side where you laid
It's a shame and I'm to blame
Now I'm going doing
just trying to tread the water
trying to find my way
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
Now that your'e gone
I still need a hand
Well I should have done a little past all I can
Well it's clear now that I don't know how someone like you ever loved someone like me
I guess you felt like I was just right, the man I was ain't half the man I'd be
I should had payed attention when you mentioned that you weren't going to stay
Now it's over the bed is colder, left behind the scent on your side where you laid
And it's a shame and I'm to blame
Now I'm going doing
just trying to tread the water
trying to find my way
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
Now that your'e gone
I sure need a hand
Well I should have done a little past all I can
Because now I'm going down
Should have given you all my time
should have let you know your'e wanted
should have given you peace of mind
and reassured your'e the one and only
should of told your'e beautiful , most beautiful girl I know
But the past is in the past
And I'm going down
just trying to tread the water
trying to find my way
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
but now that your'e gone
I sure l need a hand
Well I should have done a little past all I can
Because now I'm going down
just trying to tread the water, trying to find my way yeah
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
all alone
0
Hey, Nick! Thanks for sharing this with us. I like the energy and the vibe. I like the title, too- it’s interesting and doesn’t give the song away. Nice. However, that exact phrase “Treading Water” doesn’t appear in your chorus. I’d be more likely to call the song (just from one listen) “Going Down.” But, as I’m sure you thought, it’s not as interesting as “Treading Water.” I’d see if you can move some stuff around and land that title in a melodic spotlight so it’s more of a true hook.
Hope that helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
November 13, 2017
0
Hey Nick
I really enjoyed listening to this.
Got swept up along with it all easily.
Nice work.
Thanks for sharing it.
Cheers
November 14, 2017
1
Brent!
Thanks for listening, and for the feedback.
Sonya!
Thank you for listening!I’m glad you liked this one.
November 14, 2017
0
Along the lines of what Brent suggested, maybe you could just make this little change:
And I’m going down
And I’m just treading water
And maybe this:
but now that your’e gone
I sure l need a hand
The loneliness is more than I can stand
And I’m just treading water
Sounds great, though!
November 14, 2017
0
I would imagine you and the band are a good live show. Good work. Great dynamics in the production.
“Trying to find my way” I would have begged for some strong strong harmonies to really pop this one! Good job. Oh well, sounds kind of redundant to say good job with your productions and songs. LOL Great job.
November 16, 2017
0
Hey, loved the title and overall concept. Like Brent I want to hear The title more, especially as the payoff at the end of the chorus. Guess some others have said that. Some good internal rhymes, though one has to be careful not to overdo them. Good production, appropriate for this idea.
RK
November 17, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Nick! Thanks for sharing this with us. I like the energy and the vibe. I like the title, too- it’s interesting and doesn’t give the song away. Nice. However, that exact phrase “Treading Water” doesn’t appear in your chorus. I’d be more likely to call the song (just from one listen) “Going Down.” But, as I’m sure you thought, it’s not as interesting as “Treading Water.” I’d see if you can move some stuff around and land that title in a melodic spotlight so it’s more of a true hook.
Hope that helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
November 13, 2017
No members have liked this comment.