Not quite sure what, if any, "genre" this one fits into. Co-written with Dave Sanford (vocals) It's a first go-round with it and I'm sure some re-writes are necessary but wanted to share nonetheless. Basic premise is never abandon that inner fire
any and all feedback is appreciated.
Brent - thank you. i’ve struggled with this one because dave’s vocals/melody is so strong and i feel the lyrics don’t live up to that strength. Another work in progress. I appreciate you!
August 04, 2017
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Definitely a blues-emotive tune. I like it! Guitar is hot but not intrusive. Agree with Brent on the lyrics. Nothing better than to get mid-way feedback on a WIP.
October 17, 2017
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Co-written with David Sanford
She wishes that she had never met him, never let him let her go
She wonders, in an empty room, on an empty bed, did she mean the things she said
And now the morning finds her, oh on the wrong side of her happiness
A life living with a little less
Don’t close your eyes
See what has become
Not what has been done
Within you’ll find
Fire for change
Don’t be afraid
Emotions carried in a heartbeat
Everything we hope and dream and things we leave alone
But hollow oh is an emptiness without a face
A feeling worth the time to fight away
Don’t close your eyes
See what has become
Not what has been done
Within you’ll find
Fire for change
Don’t be afraid
How you live it, when you give it
Let love define you, your will and want to
If you feel it, If you see it
There’s no more to life than to love what’s inside
See what has become
Not what has been done
Within you’ll find
Fire for change
Don’t be afraid
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Hey, Billy- thanks for sharing your song. There are a lot of cool melodic moments here. I wonder if the 2nd line of the chorus can be more forward-looking. Almost “See what’s to come, not what has been done.” Also, it’d be nice if you can land on the title in the last line somehow.
I did the feel and vibe. Just wish there were more clarity in the lyrics so the thoughts hit me as hard as the melody and vocal.
Hope that helps. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
July 27, 2017
0
Brent - thank you. i’ve struggled with this one because dave’s vocals/melody is so strong and i feel the lyrics don’t live up to that strength. Another work in progress. I appreciate you!
August 04, 2017
0
Definitely a blues-emotive tune. I like it! Guitar is hot but not intrusive. Agree with Brent on the lyrics. Nothing better than to get mid-way feedback on a WIP.
October 17, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Billy- thanks for sharing your song. There are a lot of cool melodic moments here. I wonder if the 2nd line of the chorus can be more forward-looking. Almost “See what’s to come, not what has been done.” Also, it’d be nice if you can land on the title in the last line somehow.
I did the feel and vibe. Just wish there were more clarity in the lyrics so the thoughts hit me as hard as the melody and vocal.
Hope that helps. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
July 27, 2017
No members have liked this comment.