About This Song

This is a 'fragment' ...just first verse and chorus with very basic instrumentation (all GarageBand) - a lot more work to do on this. The title is a pun on Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven' - sort of shifted to modern times - The idea being that loss and regret are felt just as deeply today as they were when the poem was written 170 years ago.

Words to this fragment:

Been ravin' all night but I'm feeling low
This ravin' crowd could never know
Lenore you were my best girl and I miss you so
And the beat of the band just beats me down

It's after midnight and I'm so damn weary
New York city's looking dark and dreary
I call your name but its much to late
Never again it’s just the kiss of fate

So sure that I heard your voice just now
I need to see you one more time
The beat of your heart, the beat of my heart,
Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

Feedback Requested

Should I keep working on this or go back to the drawing board?
I'm working with a collaborator (ex band mate) who has very significant technical skills. - but I want to make sure that what I send him is worth presenting ...and I find it very difficult to judge my own work....
So....I will be very grateful to anyone for honest and specific positive or negative feedback (even if the feedback is "this is dross...go back to the drawing board")...Also with recent efforts, a couple of people have liked the songs but criticized singing (which is something I've been working on)..any feedback on this also much appreciated

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